The Maga turds
Chad Andrews
Chad and his younger brother Mason grew up in a musically talented family with conservative values. In their secluded gated community the only neighbor to play with was BJ, and thus they hung out and jammed almost everyday. Their father is the CEO of a major corporation and their mother is a house wife with a side business of baking the country’s best apple pies. Both AP Honors students, they dedicated their superior intellects to perfecting their musical craft. Chad received his undergraduate degree from a prominent ivy league school in civics before he turned nineteen. He is currently enrolled in law school and dreams to become a prosecutor. In his spare time Chad collects gold coins.
Mason Andrews
Chad and his younger brother Mason grew up in a musically talented family with conservative values. In their secluded gated community the only neighbor to play with was BJ, and thus they hung out and jammed almost everyday. Their father is the CEO of a major corporation and their mother is a house wife with a side business of baking the country’s best apple pies. Both AP Honors students, they dedicated their superior intellects to perfecting their musical craft. Mason decided to forgo college and instead took private lessons from several of the world’s greatest guitar players and has become one of the most sought out studio musicians for major artists. Mason is a loyal listener of conservative podcasts. He met his wife in his freshman year of high school, they got married after graduation and are expecting their third child in 2025.
BJ Gibbons
Brian Jason “BJ” Michaels is the distant second cousin to a famous real estate mogul, TV personality, author and politician. Yeah you know who! He is the core songwriter and producer of The MAGA Turds, and it was his vision to pwn the libs with irony, sarcasm, and verbal antics. After winning every talent show he entered in his entire childhood, BJ came into his own when he met Chad in sex education class. They were appalled at the leftist lunacy, claiming that gay and trans people were a natural occurrence, and even worse, that it was acceptable. When they spoke up, they were silenced, suspended. Seeing how these communist bastards threaten free speech was a shocking revelation. Soon after the liberal teachers tried to kidnap BJ to give him a forced sex change, but he escaped and exposed their vile plot. This marked a turning point in his young life, and he knew he had to follow his heart. Luckily that heartbeat can be felt in the words of Uncle Don, guiding them down a righteous path.
Nathan Stephens
In middle school Nathan organized a punk band XCYTR and by freshman year their songs were being played on the local radios and they were opening for major touring artists. After a difficult lawsuit with his bandmates about the band’s royalties, the band had to be put down, and the master recordings were buried by their record label. Nathan was in massive debt by the time he turned eighteen. Hitting rock bottom and deciding to quit music altogether and pursue accounting, his friend and fan Mason Andrews wrote to him on facebook and invited him to jam with the boys. The group clicked immediately and started writing hit songs.Nathan dedicates himself to his family and has no hobbies other than his pursuit of musical perfection.
Braylen James
After auditioning dozens of drummers for the then untitled project, Braylen met BJ at a record store when they both went to buy the same Kid Rock album but there was only one copy left. They started discussing their various musical tastes and influences. Braylen mentioned he was a drummer and had been struggling to find a band up to par with his talents. Although several grades younger BJ took a chance and invited Braylen over that afternoon and that first TMT jam ended in a wild neighborhood street party. They were signed the next day and began writing their debut album. Braylen has a healthy obsession with the non pornographic works of Stormy Daniels and has numerous items of her autographed memorabilia.
